1. Hi, Barbara! I'm reading your
Wishcraft book again, trying hard to get on top of debt and find the path
to what my husband and I, and our kids, really want, which is a farm, with
good income we can earn at home. Right now he is a mechanic, and I'm an
unsold scriptwriter. We live from paycheck to paycheck. He loves working
on small engines, as opposed to the diesel trucks he works on now, and
fishing. I have been scriptwriting for 5 years, with no sales, and I HATE
typing! I like drawing, but I'm not very good at it. How do we find a way
to get that farm, when we are paying a 15 year mortgage on a house now?
There's no point in trying to sell this place to buy the farm because once
we paid off our bills, there'd be nothing left for a down payment. Seems
impossible, but I know there's a way, I'm just too close to the situation
to see it. Any suggestions would be very very very much appreciated!!! And
thank you for writing such a wonderful book. It has already helped me a
great deal :)
Love and laughter always
Could you rent out your house and take a job as caretakers of a farm?
Anybody else got any ideas?
2. There seems to be a pool of women (20-30's)
who start out delaying marriage because they want to pursue a career,
reach their 30's, then decide that they better start getting a family
going only to find that the available men now have kids in tow, lost their
youthful physique, their hair, or are gay. What happened to this group of
women who remember the Feminist Movement but also remember and love the
Fairy tales?
Good question. I don't know the answer. Anyone out there have any
ideas?
3. Hi Barbara,
My fiancé and I enjoyed your Learning Annex seminar a few weeks ago in
San Francisco. Celeste would like to locate your out of print "Teamworks".
She has read a friend's but would like to own one for future
reference. Have you any idea as to where one can be found? Used
would be okay. New would be better.
I think I'm going to start posting some sections from Teamworks!
on this web page, because I don't have any plans to reprint it this year
and a lot of people want it. Glad you like the San Francisco workshop.
They're a lot of fun for me, too.
4. What is your schedule for the upcoming
months? I had planned to see you at the Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver
in April, but was unable to travel due to the heavy rains and washed out
roadways. I have longed to see you since reading Wishcraft four years ago.
Please send me your schedule. Thanks for the inspiration you have been to
me!
Sorry we missed you. I know about those rains -- we drove through
them from the airport to Denver. It was an adventure I don't need to
repeat.
My schedule isn't set yet, and there's nothing booked for Denver right
now. I'll start booking things again next month.
5. I'd like contact info for Success Teams in
Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN. Would it be possible to add links for local
resource people or information about contacts to the web site? Thank you.
I think we have a Success Team leader in Minneapolis, but I'm not
sure. I'll send you a personal answer asap.
Regarding adding links for local resource people, you're right on
with our thinking. We're adding a bulletin board as we speak, and that
will be one of the features. [Webmaster's Note:
The bulletin boards are here.]
6. Hi Barbara,
One practical question from some Dutch speaking fans : "do you have
Dutch translations of your books ?" Many thanks for
answering. Keep up the good work, I've enjoyed it and recommended to
many friends.
Christophe
Hi Christophe No, I'm pretty sure my books haven't come out in
Dutch. If you think they should, call your favorite publisher in the
Netherlands and tell him to contact my agency (ICM in New York) !
Thanks for your kind words.
7. I find mention of facilitators for Success Groups, but see no way to find
them. Is there a directory?
Not yet, Marjorie. Let us know where you're located and we'll tell
you if there's anyone in your area.
You can do that here on Hotmail, as of today. The person in charge
of Success Teams is now hooked in here and can answer you directly.
Also, in a week or so, we're hoping to have info available on my
bulletin board, so check there too. (Just go back to the homepage and
click on Bulletin Board)
8.Hi Barbara, I worked with your tape series
"Dare To Live Your Dream" and I feel I now know what I want
but to actually act on it and follow through is a different thing. I
feel I have a lot of potential being wasted and this is a life long
pattern. I am into Mosaics and make beautiful pieces and people are surprised
how creative I am. I just have all these great ideas to do and don't
consistently work on my projects. Do you have advice?
I sure do! If you're trying to do this work on your own, you'll find that
the only thing that keeps you moving on any given day is the mood you're in.
No good. Nothing important has ever been left to that, from raising
livestock to putting someone on the moon. If you can, take a class. If you
can, get a job in the field so you learn what you need to learn. Find a way
to hook up with others in your field so you have someone knowledgeable to
talk to.
Get a team! If you can't find a facilitator in your area, just
post a sign in the library (you'll find suggestions in all of my books).
If that doesn't work, call a career center. They all know my work, and
they are often happy to run teams.
Why do you need a team? Because isolation is the dreamkiller.
Everyone needs structure and support. That's how everything gets
done in this world. So give yourself the best chance you can, and get a
team! If you don't know where to find others like you, come over to the bulletin
board. We have some wizards over there who seem to be able to find anything!
9. A dear friend recently relocated to the
woods in Maine and suggested I might want to open a store there. They
found when it was time to decorate their cabin and also buy furniture,
they had to go to many far off areas to purchase what they needed. It
would most likely be a 3-season store catering to the large influx of
tourists looking for a place to relax and 'chill out' during the summer. I
would spend the winter months traveling around to buy new merchandise for
the following year. The idea intrigues me greatly, as it appeals to owning
my own store, decorating, and working with people.
My questions are where could I gather
information about accomplishing such a task? I don't even know if this is
really what I want to do, but I thought getting more information would
help me reach a decision. Perhaps conduct information interviews with
people already in that type of work? Where to start?
Best Regards,
Kathy
Kathy, this is definitely a question that should be on the
bulletin board where lots of people can help you find the answer. Just
click on "bulletin board"
wherever you find it here on my web page, and then go to the
"Wishes and Obstacles" forum and open a topic with this
letter.
I'll see you there!
10. I have been in my current field -
communications, for 12 years. I am a very good writer, but I am not so
good at keeping up with the detailed oriented skills that are necessary to
my career. My boss recognizes this and has tailored my current
responsibilities to include doing education presentations to the public. I
do enjoy this, but I get bored because I present the same information over
and over again to different audiences (many times they are required to
attend by their employers, and they look like they are required to
attend!) I've grown fairly tired of communications and want to do
something else, but don't even know where to begin.
My one true passion that has sustained me
through the years is working out, nutrition and sharing new things with
others. I have recently thought of investigating a career in physical
therapy with a specialization in sports. But I have a degree in marketing
and pursuing physical therapy would mean several years of schooling
I'm afraid I'll make the wrong choice in a
career and won't realize it until I'm very deep into the financial and
time obligations of school. help!
I don't blame you for being afraid! I hear too many stories of
people who go to school first and find out they don't actually enjoy
that field later!
But what you said about your present career interested me: you
said you enjoy doing education presentations to the public -- or you
would, if you didn't have to do such repetitive work. And later, you
said you enjoy sharing things with people (in the sports and nutrition
area).
You might really enjoy (and do well) as a public speaker, and
there's a relatively easy way to find out: Volunteer to give
presentations on subjects you love, on your own time after work. Talk
anywhere, for no charge at first: the public library, the health club
auditorium (if there is one), adult education, etc.
You don't need any degree to do that. You can tell your own story,
or you can just pass on what you've learned. And you'll soon find out if
you're doing what you love. Then you can start charging for your
services, and slowly build this second career without leaving the first.
And spice up those presentations at work, too! It's not good for
your brain to do things that bore you, over and over.
11. What about people who had had successes
in life, but for some reason were faced with starting over?
I owned a very successful small business for
three years. Last year's sales were $1.8 mil. My partner and I sold our
company for $1.1 million at the end of 1998. Now what?
I'm finding it difficult to get back in the
swing of things
Yes we made a fair amount of money, but at 35
there's not enough to retire on. I'm having trouble deciding if I should
buy/start another business, or just get a job. It's funny, but now that I
have a little money in the bank, I'm less interested in taking risks.
When I consider getting a job, the thought of
reporting to a boss, having a set schedule, wearing "real"
clothes is hard to deal with after being self employed. I've done nothing
constructive for over six months! It's almost as if my financial freedom
is allowing me to pick and choose, but I'm too picky and too choosy! Any
advice would be appreciated!
"I'm finding it difficult to get back in the swing of
things" is the key sentence, isn't it? Sounds like you're feeling a
bit of the predictable emotional deflation (also known as "mild
depression") that follows any loss and makes it hard to get
enthused about anything.
It might partly explain why you're cautious about taking risks,
too: when you're experiencing a downturn in mood, you tend to be hard on
yourself, to feel less competent than you did before. None of that is
true, of course, but I think you'd better get back on the horse before
you start believing you don't know how to ride anymore.
Why not start something small, safe, inexpensive just to get the
juices running again? Snoop around e-businesses, maybe. But keep your
checkbook in your pocket for awhile. Just spend small change.
I predict your energy and enthusiasm will return in good time.
12. I am writing to you from Australia. I
first heard you interviewed on a New Dimensions program and was so
inspired by your down to earth, practical, hopeful approach. I
rushed out and bought "I Could Do Anything ....".
Tapping into doing the exercises rather than
reading them is my challenge. Do you find you have others who encounter
this problem? I have tried to face the blocks, but am obviously very
stubborn. As a result I am very unfulfilled and giving myself a very hard
time. I ponder whether I secretly don't want to have a fulfilling work life
despite what I consciously say and have done some work on this. I am
wondering if you hear from others who encounter such blocks and wonder if
there is some network that I can tap into (if one already exists) or
create if one does not.
Sandra, why not start a reading group and read through the book
with other people? Maybe your local bookstore can direct you to some
people who have purchased the book, or allow you to post a "Book
Club" announcement.
You're definitely not the only one who gulps when they see the
exercises in I Could Do Anything... The exercises in all my other books
are much easier on the emotions. This one goes rather deep, and that's
why you hesitate. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your resistance to
become happy or successful.
Learning about your inner blocks and feelings can be painful, and
we all sense that, and alone it's hard to avoid resisting it.
13. Barbara, I really enjoyed your book
"I Could do Anything if I Only Knew What it Was"! Although it's
been a few years since I've read it, having that base knowledge, combined
with living life, has led me to the firm conclusion that I am a Scanner!
The problem? I'm having trouble thinking of
what jobs a Scanner could be happy in. In the book, you discuss a man who
writes for a travel magazine. I'm wondering what else I could do? I
love researching, and would love to be a Corporate Researcher (if that
exists). I've also thought of Librarian, Reporter (although I don't want
to be on TV... I just want to do the leg work), Paralegal. Any other
suggestions?
Thanks for all your help and inspiration!
Susie
Hi Susie Yes, a corporate researcher definitely exists. And
scanners very often love to do research. Trust me, you're needed! By
almost everyone!
Come onto the bulletin board here on my web page and we'll put out
a call to find out if anybody knows anything more specific about how to
connect with that particular job. Also, there are some very interesting
web pages for jobs, and we're starting to build a list of them on the
bulletin board.
Just click "bulletin board" when you first come onto
this web page.
In the meantime, you make a point about why so many of us can't
figure out what we want and I'd like everyone to note them.
(Incidentally, there are about a dozen of these points, and I'll scoop
them up and point them out whenever I see them).
1) We think we don't know what we want, when we actually do but we
don't know the job exists.
In case the rest of you are dying of curiosity, here are a few
others:
2) We think we don't know what we want, when we actually do but we
think you need special credentials and/or lots of degrees.
3) We think...ditto.....but we think we're too old (or too young).
4) We think...we have to fit into some mold we see around us,
because we don't know there are a hundred worlds out there where we fit
in perfectly already!
etc.
14. Dear Barbara,
My question is this, what do you do when you have already made too many
wrong choices, gotten your graduate degree in something you don't like.
Gotten married and had a child before you ever gave yourself a chance to
do anything you loved. What do you do when you have so many ties and responsibilities
so that it doesn't seem possible to take any steps towards anything?
Thank you so much for your time.
Sincerely,
Jodie
You remember that "the past is prologue" and you'll
probably live in reasonable health for many years, and there is always
enough time to become all you might have been.
And you might get a kick out of a quote from my latest book
someone reminded me of:
The stupid things you do before you're forty are unavoidable.
But the stupid things you do after forty are very avoidable, so start
making careful decisions.
Also remember, I was 44 before I could raise my head from all my
responsibilities long enough to write a book -- and 54 before I wrote
the second one (which was a publishing flop!) -- and at 59 my next book
got on the New York Times bestseller list (and I wrote 2 more!).
As Yogi Berra says: It ain't over til it's over.
15.Hello Barbara:
I have been a financial analyst for the past 10 years. About four years
ago I developed repetitive strain injury in my hands from the computer. I
am able to continue to work at my current job because I pay for physical
therapy on a weekly basis. But my hands are getting progressively worse.
I love numbers and finance. Any job that I
would be interested in seems to involve working on the computer most of
the day. Therefore, instead of trying to find a job I really love, I have
to find one that I can do physically. Workman's compensation said I am too
educated to take part in their vocational rehabilitation training.
Besides, the training is not typically for professional-type positions. I
have a bachelor's degree in Finance and an MBA.
Do you have any suggestions on how I can find
a job I can do physically that I will love as well? I stay at my present
job, that continues to hurt my physically, because I don't know where to
start. I need to find a new line of work before I am completely disabled.
Thanks for any advice you may have.
Sincerely,
Julie
Hi Julie This is the kind of wish/obstacle that would get some
great responses on the bulletin board. Just go back to my homepage and
click on "Bulletin Board"
and come over to "Wishes and Obstacles"
The good news is that you know what you love doing. It's also
handy that you love doing something that the work world finds valuable.
Now what we need are some great ideas of how you can do that work in a
way that's right for you.
16. Dear Barbara,
Several years ago I read your Wishcraft and thought it was brilliant.
Unfortunately, I remained isolated. The problem was masked because I still
seemed motivated and seemed to function fine on my own. I published five
articles, created new classes, created websites, maintained a job, am a
husband and father. Yet it was all on my own. Sometimes my wife said she
felt I "shut her out of my creative projects," but I dismissed
it my mind as her being overly suspicious.
Recently, driving on a trip, I asked my wife
to listen with me to your "I could do anything..." tape.
As you spoke of childhood abuse, we realized
how much I have held myself back, and why I always worked in isolation.
More importantly, I realized that I had never dealt with my abusive past,
buried it, justified it.
My feelings of unworthiness and fear of others
are starting to come out. I know that although we have a lot of
issues (we're in a couples' marital group), I need to face my own issues.
My wife liked your tapes, too. The best part
is that she wants to be in a success team with me, and it doesn't feel
threatening to me any more.
Does the success team have to be non-family?
Should we include others in the group? Is two too small?
Thanks for this wonderful letter, Norm. In this case I think it
would be fine for the two of you to be in the same team. Two could be
too small, however. Be sure you only pull in people who will be
constructive and helpful.
How to find them? Throw an Idea Party. It's a very informal,
potluck, one-time thing, you present a wish and an obstacle and let
everyone come up with ideas. Ask a couple of friends and let them bring
a couple of their friends.
When the party's over, you'll know who you'd like to have in your
team, and you can ask them to join.
17. Hi Barbara,
I attended your seminar and I wanted to let you know how very much I
enjoyed it. It taught me a lot of new techniques which I can apply to my
life.
The only problem is I don't know what I like
or love or what tastes sweet to me.
When you asked us to raise our hand and state
our wishes and obstacles I was at a complete loss. I really don't think I
have found that talent that twinkle for something I love. I like a lot of
things, but nothing that jumps out at me.
I look around me at my father, who is a
surveyor, doing what he loves and never wishes he went into something
else, or my sister who just has a god given gift when it comes to art and
things that involve using his imagination.
The question of what I love and really want to
make into a career in life has always left me with a blank. Maybe I just
don't have any god given talents. Maybe I lack that gene, or maybe they
all just went to my sister.
I would love to try and discover if I really
do have any and what they may be so I think I'll go to the bookstore and
follow up on one of your books to see if I can figure anything out there.
If you have any suggestions please let me
know.
One of the trickiest things can be figuring out your own gifts and
talents. Some of the things you're most brilliant at come so easily it's
hard to even notice them, much less think of them as gifts. Then, if you
don't happen to know of a job title that uses those particular
abilities, you can't help assuming they're useless.
When I say Tell me what you love, people automatically categorize
their answers in some way -- like "What do I love that is relevant
to creating a career?" and they edit out so many things that would
serve as clues. I hover and ask questions and pounce when I see
something I know is relevant. It's hard to do that for yourself.
Every few years I put everything new I've learned into another
book to help people like you solve the problem without needing a private
session -- or at least understand the problem better so we could work
together more efficiently. So I'm glad you're checking out the books
first.
But let me reassure you of something: everybody knows what they
love.
I've been doing this work for almost 30 years, and the vast
majority of the people I've worked with have come in saying they didn't
know what they wanted, or what they loved.
And every one of them really did. And we usually found what it was
and set up a practical plan to go after it in one session. I suppose you
could be the first exception, but I've been waiting a long time for that
exception, and haven't met it yet.
Take heart. You're on the right track.
18. HELP! I am turning forty this week, and
haven't figured out what to do when I grow up! I keep drifting into
"office jobs" which I seem to be good at, since my bosses keep
promoting me. The problem is- I hate it!
I move every two years, buying houses that
"need me" and renovating, selling and moving on the next
"needy house". I love remodeling and decorating, I have no
formal education in this area, and I would love to make a living doing
something with houses or decoration. I had a small antique business for a
while, which I did love (my favorite part was decorating my booth at the
mall) but I did not make enough money to keep it going.
One of my goals is to live in England for a
year. The biggest problem is I have tons of debt and I can't stay
motivated to pursue a goal. I get "sucked into" the office life
and spend all of my energy there. I also love to travel and tend to spend
every spare penny on trips (creating more debt). Is there any hope for me?
Hi Debra
I know exactly how you feel, I think. I'm creative and scattered
too -- and get absorbed in "office work" to the detriment of
what I really like to do.
But I wonder if you could use office work -- temp jobs that is,
overseas, or wherever you wanted to be -- to travel and and decorate
people's booths at decorating or antique shows here and there -- and
then move to another country and do something else?
The author of the Guerilla marketing books, Jay Levinson, talks in
his earlier books about living without a job at all. What he does is
create a number of "profit centers" -- unrelated things he
does for money. (He lived in a suburban home and put his kids through
college that way, incidentally, so he's not talking about the bohemian
life or anything.)
You could follow the antique shows and hire yourself out to help
people decorate their booths, or do PR, or their paperwork or something,
and when the show is over, settle down in London for a few months doing
office work, before you move to the next thing that interests you.
It sounds like a grand life to me.
If you have to justify it, write novels!
(Incidentally, I happen to be lousy at office managing -- or I'd
have done it myself.)